The year is 2020. A green mist of Coronavirus has descended over the skyscrapers of Manchester, and I am BORED. Where do I go to read about cool things? And possibly have to trawl through pages and pages of people claiming to be Satan himself? Why, /x/, of course.
For those of you who haven’t heard of /x/, this is a 4chan board where people (mostly) discuss the paranormal. Some posts on /x/ are ridiculous, but every so often you come across a real gem – I even wrote an article about one of them! So, /x/ draws me back in time and time again, just out of hope that I’ll read something as interesting as that.
Anyway – back to the story. I was happily browsing /x/ one day when I came across a post. The text of the post wasn’t compelling, something about demons etc etc, but I was drawn to the image posted. The image in question was this:
I felt some sense of anxiety looking at this image. It reminded me of when Lovecraft refers to something as ‘a picture which drives one insane’. I’d never seen anything which inspired so much dread and a gut-wrenching feeling that something was wrong. I was convinced that I’d never come across this image again, so I saved it onto my phone.
A few days passed, and I couldn’t shake that compulsion to keep looking at it. Part of its weirdness was that I didn’t know where it was from, and the art style was just….uncomfortable. In an attempt to make myself feel better, I reverse Google image searched it, and easily found it.
It was a book cover: a book called Chamiel by Edward Pearson. But that didn’t fully satisfy me. I had to see what it was about, as I’ve learned to pay attention to this weird gut feelings, so I headed to Amazon (boo! hiss!) to see if I could buy it. Yes! I could buy it! It was even on sale.
It was reduced to £0.01. This felt wrong, I thought, as I added it to my basket. Wasn’t it a coincidence that I had such strange feelings about a book that just happened to be on sale for one pence at the exact same time? I knew the universe wanted me to buy it. So, in true reckless Frankie Synth fashion, I bought it. I felt like there must be something in it that I needed to read.
It came, and I opened it. The dedication page just said ‘dear John.’ That was it. Just that on an empty page. I already had the feeling that this book was cursed somehow, but I couldn’t explain it, it was a gut feeling. The first rule of cursed objects is to cleanse cursed objects (we’ve all seen Annabelle, I aint having chairs flying around my house).
After cleansing the book and the house, I sat down to read. The book was an adventure novel about archangels, but what stood out to me was the ending (I’ll try to keep it spoiler free): the ending of this book provides a new perspective on the canonical Adam and Eve story, and after reading it, it prompted me to look at my own roots with new perspectives.
Had I not looked at my own roots, I wouldn’t have made some difficult decisions and expelled negativity from my life. That is what this book was trying to tell me. So, thanks good guy universe!
However, that picture still remains a mystery as to why it disturbs me so much. It may be symbolic of my reluctance to do shadow work: the picturesque, dreamlike landscape contrasting with the harsh oppressive shadow is pretty evident. Because I’m apparently a masochist, I may even print it out and display it on my desk to remind me to do shadow work!
What do you think? Does this image disturb you the same way it disturbs me? Do you have any images that have spoken to you?