Reflections of the week 23/03/2020

Now, I don’t know how you guys are faring during this isolation, but I am having such a hard time right now. So much so that I actually forgot/was too depressed to do a reading last Sunday, and so I’m just going to talk about a card that is standing out to me right now.

The Four of Cups

This card is often read to mean someone is oblivious to the negatives of a situation, but to me at the moment this card reads as the opposite. In one of my poems (from my new book), the Four of Cups is portrayed in this way:

He is trapped in a glass cage –

Unseen but felt like frostbite.

The bird taps at the window 

With a rosemary sprig of redemption,

But he still focuses on the wells before him. 

If you look at the Rider Waite portrayal of the Four of Cups, you might be able to see what I mean here: someone is focusing on three cups in ront of him, whilst ignoring another one being handed to him.

In my (and countless others’) state of mind, this stands out. We are so focused on things that ultimately don’t matter; we are depriving ourselves of the opportunity to grow and reflect inwardly. An example of this would be my own personal intrusive thought: ‘I can use this time to finally lose some weight’. For those of you who know me, I’ve been a yo yo dieter for the last few years, and my whole life I’ve been obsessed with losing weight. On the surface, this seems like a structured and oriented goal.

But there’s a catch

So say you’re trying to put all your time and effort into losing this weight, right? What about all your other basic human needs: interaction, self expression, self worth. When you talk yourself into using this time to achieve something, anything you do otherwise makes you feel guilty, especially if you experience guilt for relaxing anyway *which I do*.

I guess my point here is: don’t see this isolation as ‘time you can use’ with a fixed end point. Yes, you will have more time to do things, start that vlogging! write that novel! But remember, if you see the time as a finite source, you’ll stress yourself out and make yourself poorly (which ironically is what this is all about avoiding).

So maybe look behind you and see what you really need to get out of this time.

Aros yn bositif ❤

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Pagan, poet, artist, amateur philosopher. Open for bespoke incantations, email for details - blessed be <3

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